Checking in

Wow, it's been a long time since I've been back here. Was quite amused to read my last post and realised that i have a similar story about my granduncle to tell hahaha....Apparently he told my parents that there will be a wedding in the family by the end of this year. So naturally they came home, and asked me whether there was something they ought to know hahaha...And i naturally turned to my brother and asked him the same question =p

Anyway, why the sudden return to the blog you might ask? I dont know. So many things have happened lately. A colleague's brother tragically passed away from a motorbike accident. A childhood friend's father recently had a stroke and is now paralysed. I've been getting weary of work. So I took a day off last Friday and made it a point not to work. Was surfing the net and reading some blogs so i felt inspired to come back here and reminisce.

Feels quite safe to blog here now since it's been inactive for so long and so few people know about it. There's something appealing about publishing your thoughts where they are accessible to people and yet knowing that they are unlikely to find it. It's like having your own little treasure chest buried in a field right in the middle of the city centre.

I think my last post must have been about 2.5 years ago. So much has happened since then. Have been working at my 2nd job now for 2yrs+. That cell grp that i mentioned in my previous post has since multiplied. I've been on 2 mission trips. My sister has gotten married (and no, I havent yet! Still on the lookout for Mr Right haha).

Yet...when i really think about it. Yes, a lot has happened. But I am not sure whether I've really grown as a person or gotten further along with what I was created to do with my life. Seeing the tragedy in my friend's family unfold has been like a slap to the face, making me really think about what I am doing with my life, how I am spending my time, and how I relate with people. Been asking myself:

1. If I were to die tomorrow, would I go with any regrets?

2. So what's next?

3. What are my priorities and are they reflected in the way I spend my time?

4. Am I touching lives or just passing through?

And after all that evaluation, I come up short (besides vertically). I KNOW I've been spending WAY too much time working, and working at a job I dont enjoy nonetheless. That has eaten into time spent with people and God. Yes, I can see that God has placed me where I am for a purpose - probably for something beyond picking up professional skills. More likely for the people that I have befriended. But still. Drastic changes need to be made. And soon.

Someone slap me if I do not report a change of job by the beginning of next year.

Late night ramblings...

Yep i know...been AWOL quite a long time. I've somehow just lost the urge to blog. Perhaps because I'm not particularly stressed at the moment? hehe. I've noticed that my blogging spurts are normally during the period towards my exams. Probably a symptom of 'work avoidance'.

Anyway, in response to the question everyone keeps asking me, NO, i havent found a job yet; and no, i havent really been looking. Been caught up with several other things lately, amongst which have been a visit from Pam and her mum last week for....4 days, checking my grandma into the hospital for a joint replacement surgery, shopping with my mum and catching up with various ppl (yes, i know the last 2 reasons arent really valid ones hehe). Getting kinda stressed about still being jobless so will need to make a decision pretty soon. Would appreciate your prayers if you could spare the time. Thanks =)

Met up with one of my childhood friends just now. Was nice just catching up; realising that although a lot has changed, some things still remain the same. A lot of times i feel like I've lost touch with a lot of people but it's nice to find out that when I do finally meet up with many of them, the friendship still remains, and we can just pick up where we left off. But apart from that, I think that if my childhood friends were to compare notes with my more current ones, they'd probably end up painting very different pictures of me (if they could be bothered to do something as pointless as that in the first place haha =p). I think the main difference lies in me having found God. Since then, I've become so different....with a different mindset, different priorities. I think I probably would've had a much easier time fitting into the world before I went through these changes. I used to want all the trappings of success, wealth and prestige but now, I'm caught between wanting a comfortable lifestyle and pursuing what's really important in life (some people might call this complacency). Hopefully I'll figure this one out soon

The end of one chapter, the beginning of another

Sitting here now at the departure gate lounge I’m just trying to hold back tears. The crying started yesterday hahaha…..right after I read Li Ping’s card, even as light-hearted as it was. Then the crying resumed today after I read Bel’s letter on the bus – the passengers next to me must’ve thought I was nuts. Not that everyone else’s messages weren’t sweet and touching; just that I’ve spent so much time with the both of them over the past 2 yrs – their messages really brought back all the fun memories that we wont be able to create on a daily basis anymore. Shite. Started crying again. Haha. Good thing it’s the airport – I think the ppl here are quite accustomed to seeing ppl cry =p

Anyway, thanks to all who made the effort to meet up with me before I left. After two weeks of waiting and being prepared to leave, I finally got sick of waiting and figured there wasn’t much point in waiting anymore anyway. And, if I’d decided to fly even just one day later I probs wouldn’t be able to meet Zal before he flies back to Vancouver. Feel a bit bad about not meeting up with Peter (sorry Pete if you’re reading this) but after much consideration, I really didn’t want to contend with my luggage and tube stations simultaneously.

I think my sudden decision to leave surprised quite a few ppl yesterday hehe. I just decided, changed my reservation, bought my bus ticket, then told ppl. Amazingly, we ended up having quite a large gathering at our house….sigh…my EX-house. Went to Sainsbury’s first to get stuff to bring home for my family as I discovered that I had an extra 10kg allowance, then went home to have dinner with Cee Yi, Bel, LP, and Jason. A few others came over after dinner and a group of us ended up playing pictionary till past midnight. The night was still young for me though….had to help wash n dry the dishes which resulted from having a large group over for food, pack, shower, and make Bel’s present. Ended up only sleeping 2hrs that night before I had to get up to go to the bank. Andrew very kindly offered to send me to the bus station and I really was very grateful for the help. He made my 20kg luggage look light!

Then as we were just talking while waiting for the bus, Jason came running up in his work clothes. Was really a pleasant surprise as I’d expected him to be at work. Instead, he’d dashed off from work, and sped to the bus station praying both that he wld make it in time and in one piece. So sweet =)

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So now a couple of days after that entry was written, I sit here in my room which is also pretty much a dump as I havent managed to sort everything out yet. The flight was smooth, really empty actually. Only 80 ppl! So I managed to stretch out on the middle seats *grin*. Didnt sleep much though, ended up watching more movies than i should have. Yet, after only getting about 6hours of sleep in 3 days, I still went to meet the 'Brotherhood of the Travelling Pants' aka Ed, Joe, Zal, n Ken in Sri Hart that night after a huge Jap dinner. Was good to catch up again after so long. Oh and thank God for friends who are willing to send me home!  There was no way I was going to drive when I was so tired.

As usual when I'm back home, I was rudely awakened early in the morning to go out. This time by my sis, dragging me out for breakfast. Went to Kayu Nasi Kandar near SS2 for roti canai and bought 'yau char guai' from the old Chow Yang. Yumzzz! But all the oil!! Quite jelak after a while. Bel n CY, this morning's roti canai drove home again what a far cry ours were! haha....I tried to watch the guy making the roti but got lazy after a while Plus, didnt want him to think I was staring at him for the wrong reasons

Came back and tried to unpack and clear up my room but exhaustion eventually took over resulting in a short nap. Went jogging in the evening (my stamina is soooooo crappppppp ), then to cell after dinner.

The cell discussion today was based on 1 Pet 2:13-18 on submission to authorities (eg government). Those of you who are like me and love to bash our government, need to read those verses. As we read them aloud together in the cell, it struck me that the typical Malaysian culture of government bashing whenever we get together really isnt helpful and rather unbiblical. Instead, the bible calls us to supplicate (pray for), serve, support, and submit to the government. Quite difficult I suppose when you see a billion shortcomings in the government but I suppose we need to remember that they are only in power because He has allowed them to be.

Another few gems of wisdom that arose from the discussion amongst this group of mostly 40-60 yr olds were:

1. Focus on doing your job well, not on jostling your way to the top.

These words came from men and women who are highly successful so they carry quite a lot of weight to me. 3 of these ladies (a risk manager, an investment banker who retired young, and a retired IT MD) all said that throughout their careers, they've just focused on performing each task they've been given to the best of their abilities, without getting involved in company politics etc etc, and somehow God has allowed everything else to fall into place.

2. A right attitude towards work is essential.

One of these ladies mentioned that nowadays, most of the young working adults are unwilling to do work which is not strictly in their job description. She contrasted that attitude to that of the previous generation who just did whatever they were given. And I realised that although something may not strictly be included in your job description, the more you are willing to take on, the more your portfolio of skills grows, the more marketable you become, and the better equipped you progress from student to teacher.

All in all, although we digressed quite a lot from the topic, I learnt quite a bit from these veterans. It's great to listen and learn from ppl who are more experienced in life. Nonetheless, I am still considering joining a young adults' cell instead. There are pros and cons for both options so I'd appreciate your prayers on this.

But yeah, despite all the activity, I've been missing both the life and people in Notts. I miss the freedom, the food (all the random stuff we cook =p), the fun and laughter, and oddly enough, the cool weather. Coming back to a room where my cupboards have become my family's storage space, and I dont have a proper place to put everything at the moment has not made it easy either. Still kinda feels like my room is just a place where I sleep. It needs a LOT of clearing up and reorganisation. Definitely not a fun prospect. Having my parents around and consequently losing the COMPLETE freedom I had in Notts is not great either. Oh well. I guess it all just takes getting used to.

Anyway, I'd better sleep soon. Till next time!