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eeling_s
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Name: Ee Ling
Birthday: 1/2/1985
Gender: Female
Interests: baking, spending time with friends, singing, dancing, reading, etc...
Occupation: Consultant
Message: message me
Member Since:
1/14/2005
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| Life is full of surprises. Recently found out that my aunt has a boyfriend and is getting married in Dec! If it's true love, i'm happy for her. If it's a marriage of convenience, I suppose I am still happy for her though slightly concerned. Anyway our family dinner just now where we met her fiancee raised a few questions in my mind: 1. Can people always tell if 2 people are in love? 2. Would I settle for something less than love just for companionship in my older days? The reason why question #1 occured to me was because when i looked at the soon-to-be registered couple, i didnt see sparks, any connection, secretly exchanged glances, etc etc. Nothing that suggested that they were in love. So far from my observation of my friends (and i'm sure from ppl's observation of me, since i've been told that ppl can read me like a book), love always shows in outward expressions. Exchanged glances, lingering stares, a soft touch every now and then, etc. You get my drift. And i am usually pretty good at picking these things up (alas more for other ppl than for me haha). So that led me to question #2. If there isnt love, would i settle for someone that i can just about stand, just for companionship? After some thought, here's my answer. If I could just BARELY stand him, I dont think I could. But if I enjoyed his company, then how is that really different from love? Yes, love implies sparks, fireworks, passion, etc etc. But after all that is gone, you're left with companionship. Maybe that's what's really important. Would i trade that for a meaningless relationship full of lust? Maybe. But not in a clear state of mind. | | |
| Wow, it's been a long time since I've been back here. Was quite amused to read my last post and realised that i have a similar story about my granduncle to tell hahaha....Apparently he told my parents that there will be a wedding in the family by the end of this year. So naturally they came home, and asked me whether there was something they ought to know hahaha...And i naturally turned to my brother and asked him the same question =p Anyway, why the sudden return to the blog you might ask? I dont know. So many things have happened lately. A colleague's brother tragically passed away from a motorbike accident. A childhood friend's father recently had a stroke and is now paralysed. I've been getting weary of work. So I took a day off last Friday and made it a point not to work. Was surfing the net and reading some blogs so i felt inspired to come back here and reminisce. Feels quite safe to blog here now since it's been inactive for so long and so few people know about it. There's something appealing about publishing your thoughts where they are accessible to people and yet knowing that they are unlikely to find it. It's like having your own little treasure chest buried in a field right in the middle of the city centre. I think my last post must have been about 2.5 years ago. So much has happened since then. Have been working at my 2nd job now for 2yrs+. That cell grp that i mentioned in my previous post has since multiplied. I've been on 2 mission trips. My sister has gotten married (and no, I havent yet! Still on the lookout for Mr Right haha). Yet...when i really think about it. Yes, a lot has happened. But I am not sure whether I've really grown as a person or gotten further along with what I was created to do with my life. Seeing the tragedy in my friend's family unfold has been like a slap to the face, making me really think about what I am doing with my life, how I am spending my time, and how I relate with people. Been asking myself: 1. If I were to die tomorrow, would I go with any regrets? 2. So what's next? 3. What are my priorities and are they reflected in the way I spend my time? 4. Am I touching lives or just passing through? And after all that evaluation, I come up short (besides vertically). I KNOW I've been spending WAY too much time working, and working at a job I dont enjoy nonetheless. That has eaten into time spent with people and God. Yes, I can see that God has placed me where I am for a purpose - probably for something beyond picking up professional skills. More likely for the people that I have befriended. But still. Drastic changes need to be made. And soon. Someone slap me if I do not report a change of job by the beginning of next year. | | |
| Sorry for the complete lack of activity here hehe. I've lost the desire to blog for some reason. Perhaps cos I feel that I dont really have anything much worth saying. In any case, was replying a friend's email with some of my updates so I just thought I'd paste excerpts of my reply here to save me the trouble of updating (which you know probs wouldnt happen if i had to retype everything =p). Pls forgive the lousy english and seeming randomness of some parts of the excerpt (cos some sections have been edited). I write emails like I talk and evidently my England not powderful =p. So for those loyal ppl who still read this blog (if there are any of you left out there), here goes.... It was quite funny when i went back to Kedah and visited my granduncle.....i'm sure i'v told u abt him. He's the one that can read faces and palms. Anyway, when he saw me he asked if i had a bf yet (the entire conversation took place in Hokkien. Geng mo...hahaha....ie. He did most of the talking lah hahaha =p) and i told him no. He said that wen i get one i'll have to show him so that he can see if the guy is 'suitable' haha (ie judging from his face/luck/watever). And he went on to say that I actually have a lot of guys interested in me just that i dont want them. I was like....huh??? How come I dont know abt these hordes of guys?? hahaha.... Then he said that the guy can't be younger than me. And that he will be some sort of goldsmith (rich i suppose?). I dont really buy into these things; just thought his comments were quite funny and interesting =p Erm. What else. Oh yes. hahaha...another 'funny' story =p I've started at a new cell already. The group consists of young adults btw 24-33 yrs old (singles and young couples). The first time i visited that cell was quite a memorable one. To make a good impression, I made sure that i dressed properly, blew-dried my hair, the typical stuf lah. Then as i left Sierramas, it started pouring cats and dogs! It rained like mad ALLLL the way there, and when i got there, the stupid umbrella was one of those golf umbrellas where u have to push the thing in the middle up. So I had to step out of the car to do that (getting me half wet) and when i finally got it open, the wind blew it inside out!!! So i had to get out of the car to try to turn the umbrella back again, resulting in me getting COMPLETELY soaked. In the end, i gave up on the umbrella, left if by the side of the road, and got back into the car for some shelter. There i sat, dripping, considering whether to go home, or to still go for the cell in that state. It was raining too heavily to drive home, and i'd already gone all the way, so i thought....what the heck. So i got out of the car, pressed the button to lock it (drove my sis's Satria), and guess what ELSE happened. The alarm went off  . So there i stood, in the pelting rain, trying to sort out the alarm and lock the car. In the end, i figured no one was going to steal the car in the rain so i just left it unlocked and walked in thru the open gate. The 2 ladies there must've wondered who this crazy woman was haha. Anyway yeah...so i stood outside the front door for a while, wringing whatever water i could out of my soaked hair and clothes while the cell leader got me clothes to change into and a towel. haha.... Yep. Anyway I quite liked the group so i went back again last week (also to return the clothes hehe). I was quite impressed by how deep the discussion was (the way i like it), and the members are mostly quite strong Christians. So yeah....i think i might just stick with this group =) I am the baby there though. They were all shocked that i was 21 =p They're only in their late 20s and acting as if they're 80 already. Sheesh hehe. Erm. Yes, work. Nopes, still jobless. Went for an interview with a small company, turned down the 2nd interview cos i dont think I'd take the job even if they offered me one. Went for an interview with Janssen-Cilag (subsidiary of Johnson and Johnson) for a product specialist position (ie a glorified name for a salesperson.) on Tues. Interview went well and they called me today to arrange the 2nd interview on monday. Another interview with Zimmer for a similar position on the same day. But....my mum thinks it's a waste for me to do sales with my academic results. I see where she's coming from. Ppl seem to think that sales is a lower-end job since it involves a lot of sucking up and walking around. I think I kinda feel that too. But I dont know if i can get into consulting, and sales seems to be my only way of getting into the pharmaceutical industry. So...yeah....i really dont know lah. Please pray for me about this whole job thing. Ask Him to close the wrong doors and give me wisdom and perseverance to knock on the right ones. Well, that being said, I guess I'm quite ready to start work already lah. Starting to feel like a useless human being hehe. The only good that's come out of not working is that I'v told myself that i have no excuse not to exercise. So yeah....started an exercise regime. Hopefully can keep to it =p Yeah i completely understand how scary it feels to realise that your student life is ending....and with it the carefree days. The past few months have been quite 'scary' for me in a way....cos it's quite a daunting prospect to have to go out to the working world. I've been asking myself, 'Would i be willing to compromise my faith to do well at work?', 'Will i slip away?', 'Should i apply for less demanding jobs so that i wont be too caught up with work and will have time for other things?', 'Money's not everything, but you want to live a comfortable life rite? How are you going to earn enough to support your lifestyle expectations?', etc etc. I'm just holding on to the knowledge that He has my future in His hands, and that until now, every stage of life has just gotten better and better. So there's no reason for that to stop happening now =) | | |
| Being jobless is stressful. Being jobless and not knowing what KIND of job you want is even worse. I know I sound like a broken record. So bite me.
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| Yep i know...been AWOL quite a long time. I've somehow just lost the urge to blog. Perhaps because I'm not particularly stressed at the moment? hehe. I've noticed that my blogging spurts are normally during the period towards my exams. Probably a symptom of 'work avoidance'. Anyway, in response to the question everyone keeps asking me, NO, i havent found a job yet; and no, i havent really been looking . Been caught up with several other things lately, amongst which have been a visit from Pam and her mum last week for....4 days, checking my grandma into the hospital for a joint replacement surgery, shopping with my mum and catching up with various ppl (yes, i know the last 2 reasons arent really valid ones hehe). Getting kinda stressed about still being jobless so will need to make a decision pretty soon. Would appreciate your prayers if you could spare the time. Thanks =) Met up with one of my childhood friends just now. Was nice just catching up; realising that although a lot has changed, some things still remain the same. A lot of times i feel like I've lost touch with a lot of people but it's nice to find out that when I do finally meet up with many of them, the friendship still remains, and we can just pick up where we left off. But apart from that, I think that if my childhood friends were to compare notes with my more current ones, they'd probably end up painting very different pictures of me (if they could be bothered to do something as pointless as that in the first place haha =p). I think the main difference lies in me having found God. Since then, I've become so different....with a different mindset, different priorities. I think I probably would've had a much easier time fitting into the world before I went through these changes. I used to want all the trappings of success, wealth and prestige but now, I'm caught between wanting a comfortable lifestyle and pursuing what's really important in life (some people might call this complacency). Hopefully I'll figure this one out soon  | | |
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